Category Archives: GayTech

Did Dating Apps Ruin Gay Bars?

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It would be hard to point out even one thing in life that technology hasn’t affected and the gay bar scene has definitely not been spared. Historically speaking, gay bars were the community hubs for gay people a place where they could be open with their sexuality and pursue people of the same sex.

A lot has changed since the Stonewall riots but until recently gay bars had maintained their cornerstone status in gay culture. With increased awareness of gay culture more and more straight people, particularly straight women flocked to the gay bars as there place of choice to let loose on a Friday night. It was not this that drove gay people out, but the many gay oriented dating apps. No longer was the gay bar the only place gay people could meet each other. They could meet each other virtually, or virtually anywhere.

Now although the title of the post seems to have a negative connotation it is my opinion that this is not wholly a bad thing.

Although gay bars were an early cultural hub they were also a big component of what drove gay culture so closely together with addiction to alcohol and other substances. These substances coupled with this gay meeting space created the dangerous mix that lead many to become infected with STDs.

However, online dating did steal the face to face connections at gay bars the glory days of going into the bar and being hit on or sparking up a conversation. This is something that is increasingly lost on the millennial generation as a whole as we grow attached to our devices as a source for these connections.

I am interested to hear what you think, Did Dating Apps Ruin Gay Bars?

Or have they made gay dating better?

Let me know what you think in the comments.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media.

Thanks for reading,

Colin

Becoming Myself, Digitally

Read this before you download Grindr

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So you’re ready to meet someone?

You are not alone if when you read that sentence the first thing that came to mind was online dating. The gay community has a number of specific applications tailored to them Grindr, Manhunt, and Hornet to name a few. Since Grindr is one of the few platforms I tried out when I was looking to meet someone I am going to describe based on my own experience what it was and what it wasn’t and ultimately why I deleted it.

What it was:  Grindr is pretty much solely a hookup app, I say pretty much because people looking for a genuine relationship are few and far between. A lot of people are drawn to the app because of the anonymity of it, unlike Tinder, you don’t require to link any other social media platforms to it. If you are looking for hookups, then look no further but if you are looking for a genuine connection I suggest you look elsewhere.

What it wasn’t: Safe. The anonymity that Grindr provides is a double-edged sword as those who are in the closet can meet people without outting themselves but at the same time, it is filled with catfish and people with genuine malicious intent as you can see in the two articles below:

Grindr Serial Killer

Man Intentionally Poked Holes In Condoms To Infect Grindr Hookups With HIV

In my on-again-off-again relationship with Grindr when I was single I talked with many but met with few and can say without a doubt all of all were disappointing.  For me personally, I felt too much like a piece of flesh and less like a person with feelings and for that reason, I used other online platforms to meet my awesome boyfriend.

Grindr is that place your parents warned about where you talk to strangers on the internet.

I don’t want to end this piece off on a negative note. If you do choose to use Grindr, I recommend you use caution and more caution than I myself used when I was meeting people off the app. Here are a few handy tips to keep you safe:

  • Always share your location with a friend. You can spare them the gory details but if you can find one friend who you can share this with it will give you some peace of mind
  • Meet in a public space. No, don’t do it right there in the park but give yourself a little time to read the person and be sure to listen to your gut.
  • Be prepared. I am pretty sure you know what you are into so bring the appropriate supplies I’m not talking handcuffs and blindfold. I am talking protection (Okay you can bring the handcuffs and blindfold too)

Be sure to like my page to hear about which app I found successful and how I used it in coming articles.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media.

Thanks for reading,

Colin

Becoming Myself, Digitally