Tag Archives: queer

Is Katy Perry a Gay Icon? Or Did She Use the Gay Community to Launch Her Career

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Katy Perry, the once reigning popstar that dominated the charts for much of the 00’s who famously made reference to gay community in multiple of her songs.

But did her mention of the gay community help or hinder it?

Now this is a question that has garnered fierce debate from all sides as there seem to be two different camps on her impact, she emboldened the community or she embarrassed it.

In the song that truly launched her career, “I kissed a Girl” Perry manages to bring forth the topic of homosexuality while problematically  referencing several stereotypes which largely stems from they lyrics at the beginning of her song:

“I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion”

Although seemingly harmless in nature this lyric set reinforces that age-old stereotype that in order to be gay, or experiment – you need to be blackout drunk. Or in some way lose your discretion (Ability to make responsible decisions)

This song was not even the worst of her offenders the next song of debate cuts right to the chase and offends many in the title alone “Ur So Gay (And you don’t even like boys)”

This WHOLE song is based on Gay male stereotypes in her lyrics Perry gets quite catty with some of her remarks. She even goes as far as to list off things that can make someone “Gay” without even liking boys which include: being a vegetarian, driving an electric car, listening to indie rock and even wearing sunscreen???

I need not list the problematic lyrics from this song, just listen for yourself and you will quickly find the whole song a problem.

So what’s the verdict?

Honestly, I don’t think Perry’s absolute disregard for any respect for the gay community was entirely intentional. But personally, I can’t forgive her particularly for the latter song which opens up with “I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf”.

Although in 2017 Katy Perry was the recipient of the National Equity Award for her “Work with the gay community” … no, I am not kidding.

All I can say is that if I were judging for that award I would surely have the criteria checked. But that’s my opinion.

What’s yours?

Do you feel that Perry rose to fame by capitalizing on gay stereotypes to get people talking? Or do you believe that in the 10 years since these songs have come out that people have gotten a little sensitive?

Let me know what you think in the comment section below.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media.

Thanks for reading,

Colin

Becoming Myself, Digitally

3 Things to Know Before Coming Out

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Coming is not an easy process for anybody. The fear of coming out is only natural; your brain is hardwired to avoid risk and for a lot of people, coming out is very risky.

It’s a risk for your family life, social life and sadly in some backwards countries today it is still a risk to your LIFE.

So with all that is unknown, it can be hard to justify taking that leap into living your life true to you. I am going to demystify a few things about coming out that you should know beforehand in order to better prepare yourself.

  1. People are Ignorant

This should come as no shock to you, but your sexuality will certainly be a shock to some people. Let it be. Don’t entertain debate about the validity of your sexuality. Certain people will never understand.. and they don’t have to! If they don’t like gay marriage then they shouldn’t get gay married. Don’t waste your time justifying yourself, you are 100% justified to be you whatever that entails.

    2. Take care of yourself, let your friends in

The coming out process can weigh a heavy toll on your mental health, keep your head up and lean on your friends, your friends that support you.  If you foresee that coming out is going be tough on you, try and strategically pick a few friends to come out to first who you know will support you.

    3. It will get better.

Cliche I know. But it will. Trust me in this, listen to your gut and do what you need to do to be you. No matter how well or how bad people take it, the experience will be a liberating one if you view it as one.

If you feel like you have no one to talk to feel free to contact me

or contact an appropriate hotline who can help you find resources.

What are some things you think people should know before coming out?

Let me know what you think in the comments.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media.

Thanks for reading,

Colin

Becoming Myself, Digitally

Ellen, How One Woman Became a Champion for the Gay Community

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If there is anyone from the last twenty years that comes to mind when you think of queer icons, its Ellen Degeneres. Her bubbly personality, sense of humor and ability to broach difficult topics at the same time made her a perfect role model for gay people everywhere.

Although I was too young to recognize it at the time, Ellen’s famous coming out in the “Puppy Episode” of her hit TV show Ellen was a huge step forward for the gay community and personally,  I can’t imagine the political landscape of gay culture without Ellen at its forefront.

The feelings Ellen displays in her famous coming out scene are relatable for many people who have come out and for many who have yet to come out still, in true Ellen fashion she incorporates some tasteful comedy into the scene:

After this famous scene, Ellen found herself in the heart of a media frenzy which polarized Americans and fueled debate and discussion around the world which undoubtedly accelerated the acceptance of gay people into western society.

Whether Ellen knew what she was getting herself into or not she had been catapulted into a rainbow spotlight that was cast on her anytime a big event happened within the gay community.

One such instance was where Ellen found herself in the spotlight was at a vigil for one Mathew Shepard who found himself murdered as a result of his sexuality. Her raw and powerful speech humanized gay people unlike ever before:

If you haven’t heard of the Mathew Shepard story I recommend checking out the movie written about his life and final moments, Matt Shepard is a Friend of Mine.

As for Ellen, I am sure a day will come where a movie will be made on her life and legacy as a result of her contributions to the LGBTQ community.

Thank you, Ellen, for all that you have done and continue to do for all of us.

Do you have any Queer Icons that stood out for you? Let me know by commenting on this post.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media.

Thanks for reading,

Colin

Becoming Myself, Digitally

Being Gay in High School: Why I hid it.

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When should I come out? To whom should I come out to first? How should I come out?

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All of these questions that bombarded me late at night when rather than sleeping I was up watching coming out stories on YouTube, reading articles about being gay or doing pointless buzzfeed surveys to confirm what I already knew as if it would somehow be changed.

To answer that first question “When should I come out?” I quickly realized that coming out while in high school would not be a good move for me. I was not one of the popular kids nor did I eat lunch alone I was that middle of the pack, under the radar kind of guy.  I thought that if I came out in High School or told anybody that rumors would fly and suddenly I would be on everyone’s radar.

This thought did not go unfounded as I heard the rumors about other kids in the school whether it was confirmed or not when someone was thought to be gay… it was talked about. In the chemistry lab, at the cafeteria table and even “the smoke pit” the news traveled fast.

I spent a lot of time denying my sexuality in high school going out with girls and really for all intents and purposes trying to be straight. It was for that reason that I felt my coming out would put an even larger target on my back. So I hid it.

My gut told me high school would not be the right setting, so I waited until it was over.

Soon after high school finally ended I slowly but surely came out to each and every one of my close friends and family.

After that, I went to college and from that point on anytime that it came up I was honest, not scared anymore to admit the fact that I was gay. I never shouted it from the rooftops or told every person I saw but if it came up in conversation I no longer changed the topic.

This is what worked for me. Thankfully I  was lucky enough to have lots of very supportive friends and family and I understand this is not the case for everyone.

I have a few tips if you or someone you know is looking to come out but doesn’t know where to start.

Tip #1 

If you feel that some important people in your life may not take the news well, tell those you think will react well first. This will build you a support circle so that if things get bad you have people to lean on.

Tip #2

Don’t rush. Don’t feel pressured to come out if you are not ready and you don’t need to tell the whole world at once. Start small, but for your own sake, start.

Tip #3

Give people time to process the information and don’t take offense if they aren’t surprised by this new information.

If you have any tips you’d like to share with me feel free to comment on this post I’d love to hear them.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to share it on social media.

Thanks for reading,

Colin

Becoming Myself, Digitally